Writing For Myself: Reflecting On Why I Didn’t Publish For Month

It has been exactly one month since my last post. I told myself that I was too busy to write. Simply overwhelmed by school, work, and internship hunting. The truth is, I lost the motivation to write.

On the phone today with James I realized that I stopped because I forgot why I started. I started this blog to have a body of work to represent me. To create something that represents me.

But, as time progressed the reason I was writing was to impress readers with my ideas. To be respected for my ideas. To sound smart.

It wasn’t about me anymore, it was about what other people thought of me.

This blog is a hobby. A public thought wall. Something to reflect on. A place to jot down my current headspace.

James told me that writing is not mutually exclusive with anything. It is something that can express any topic. Over the summer I was writing any idea in mind. The ideas did not stop. I became afraid to publish them because I felt that they weren’t groundbreaking or different.

I’m not trying to become a professional writer. I’m doing this for fun. That’s it. I don’t want to set that expectation upon myself, because then it becomes work. And for the most part, hobbies shouldn’t feel like work.

November 3, 2020 · Moment · Reflection

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